Lost
by clever pen name
Summary: Sam and Luka story, AU. WIth Carter and Abby
1. Chapter 1

Luka leaned back against the wall hugging his arms tighter around him in an attempt to keep warm. He didn't know what to think. Should he let his mind wander and be happy that his dream was coming true? Abby was pregnant with his child after all. The big question was whether or not she would keep the child. She had an abortion before, who was to say she wouldn't have one again. It seemed to him that she was dragging the decision out for so long just to torture him. A kind of punishment for putting her in that position.

He took in a deep breath and let it out slowly, watching his breath form in the cold air of the ambulance bay. He wasn't even sure he loved Abby so much that he'd want to spend the rest of his life with her. Did he love her? Yes, he did, he was sure of that. But, sometimes he felt like they weren't meant to be. Almost as if there was someone out there that he was meant to be with, he just hadn't met her yet. Shaking his head he pushed those thoughts out of his head. It had been so long since he'd been married with children, he was sure all his doubts were just down to nervousness. He was never one to believe in faith anyway. He was sure of one thing; he wanted to be a father again, more than he'd ever wanted anything.

"Hey!"

Luka turned to see Carter was now standing beside him. Relief flooded over him, it felt good to be broken out of his thoughts.

"How's your first day back?" Luka asked he knew how hard it could be to settle back into the hustle and bustle of the ER after a long absence.

"Okay, in some ways it feels like I never left." Carter replied with a slight shake of his head. "I could do without everyone asking how I am every two minutes though, it's been six months. I've moved on."

Luka nodded in reply. Carter had come home from Africa six months ago, after finding Kem kissing another man who she admitted to being in love with. Carter was crushed, they had been engaged for two months and for half of that time she'd been sleeping with someone else. When he arrived back in Chicago, Luka was the one who helped him pick up the pieces. Stopped him from going back to depending on drink,

"Speaking of which, when do I get to meet this mystery woman of yours? You've been dating for over a month now." Luka's curiosity was getting the better of him. Carter had been going around with a stupid grin on his face the whole time because of this woman. And he wouldn't even tell Luka her name. Luka was anxious to meet this fantastic woman, Carter's words, who had so quickly stolen his heart away.

"Soon," Carter replied a smile, "you'll get to meet her real soon."


	2. Chapter 2

"I'm so sorry Luka, but I can't do it. I just can't." Abby wept into the phone, talking so fast that all her words ran together so that they seemed to form one giant word.

"Abby, slow down," Luka had barely gotten two hours sleep the night before, his mind had kept going through all the possibilities, and Abby was talking so fast he couldn't understand a single word.

"Now, what's wrong?" He asked after hearing Abby's breathing calm down on the other end of the line.

"I can't be a mother Luka; I'm just not cut out for it."

Luka sank down in the chair where he was sitting. His hopes were dashed; his chance of being a father again was being ripped from his grasp. His hands clenched around his shirt as the thick empty feeling sank into his stomach.

"Are you still there?" She yelled down the phone.

"Yeah, I'm still here." Luka answered, letting out the breath that he didn't realise he'd been holding. "I said I'd support you in whatever decision you made, and I'm a man of my word." He could only hope he sounded convincing, because he sure as hell didn't mean it. How could he be okay with it all? It was very clear to anyone who knew him just how much it would mean to him to have a child again.

"Thank you." Abby said quietly.

"When are you planning on going to the clinic? I'll come with you; I won't have you going alone." Every fibre of his being was yelling at him, there was no way he could do that. There was no way he could be there with her and just stand back as she killed their child. But he knew it was the right thing to do, she'd need someone there for support,

"I went last night; it's all over and done with."

Shock ran through him, his blood seemed to grow cold. All night as he had been up wondering, hoping that she'd decide to have the child, it was already dead. It was as if he didn't matter, as if he didn't have any feelings at all to consider. He'd been left out of making the decision, and now he'd been pushed aside, not even deemed important enough to be told until it was all over and done with.

"Thanks for calling and letting me know," Luka whispered down the phone, doing his best to keep all the bitterness he felt out of his voice, "You should try to get some rest, you need it. I'll talk to you later."

He hung up the phone before she even had a chance to reply. Somehow, he didn't care how that made her feel. She sure didn't seem to have considered his feelings. Not that he could really figure out what his feelings were at that exact moment. He felt completely numb, he couldn't feel a thing. The slight sensation of his fingers tapping idly against his thigh was the only sign he had that he was still there, that he was still alive.

The ER was fairly quiet as the doctors, nurses and patients all walked around, each with their own purpose, each on their way somewhere. It was a pointless, never-ending dance that happened everyday. What was done today would have to be done again tomorrow. At least that's how Luka felt about the whole thing as he watched the world spin around him.

Nothing seemed to work, nothing could break him out of his melancholic mood. He was sure his patients were feeling the brunt of it; he was spending the minimum amount of time needed with them. If he made it through the day without any complaints it would be a miracle. Kerry was going to kill him, he was sure of it. And yet, he couldn't urge himself to even care about it. None of it really mattered to him. He couldn't even find the will to move from where he stood leaning against the desk at admit. He just stayed there, a chart open in front him giving the illusion that he was working.

A mass of shiny blonde curls caught his attention as the owner walked right past him. The woman was small, petite and wearing scrubs. She turned around and he found himself captivated by her smile, it was almost infectious, his own lips started curling up into a slight smile as she laughed at something Pratt was saying.

She was new, he hadn't seen her before. A nurse, he guessed since she was wearing scrubs. There was something about her, something he couldn't quite put his finger on, but something that drew him to her. He found himself watching her every move, staring unashamedly at her as she worked.

"Enjoying the show?"

Luka felt his cheeks going red as she stood there in front of him, hands on her hips waiting for his answer. He tried to speak, but only managed a few unintelligible sounds. She made him feel so nervous. Most of it was from him feeling slightly guilty for staring at her so openly. Given the reputation he had at the hospital, he dreaded to think what she thought of him.

"Relax," She reassured him smiling, "I won't bite! I was just curious as to why you were staring at me."

Luka still couldn't seem to speak; he knew he shouldn't have been staring at her. And he didn't have an answer as to why he was staring. Saying something like it was because she was so beautiful sounded so corny, he wouldn't even attempt it.

"The least you could do is tell me your name."

"I'm . . um . . Luka, Kovac." He could feel his cheeks burning up; she was making him feel so nervous, that he could just about manage to say his name.

"Dr Kovac eh? The other nurses have told me all about you." She laughed seemingly enjoying his embarrassment. "My name is Sam Taggart, I'm the new nurse."

The rest of the day seemed to fly by, as Luka spent most of it watching Sam, this time more discreetly. He knew he shouldn't, he was dating Abby. But he was only looking, what harm could it do? Besides, all the time he spent enthralled by Sam's appearance he didn't think about anything else. And it felt good to think about something, anything else.

It was only when he sat down in the doctor's lounge at the end of the day that it all came creeping back into his mind. His child was gone. Even though he hadn't allowed himself to get excited about it, he now realised that he had been looking forward to each, despite himself. He leaned forward, placing his head in his hands and sighed.

"Long day?"

Luka sat up and found Sam staring down at him. He found he had butterflies in his stomach at the sight of her.

"I just found out this morning that my girlfriend had an abortion." The words flew out of his mouth without him even thinking about it. He was surprised at his own openness; he found it hard to talk to Abby about his feelings, never mind a complete stranger. But here he was, telling this new nurse, who he'd spent the afternoon practically fantasising about.

"Without telling you?" Sam asked sitting down beside him. "That's pretty harsh."

"I know I told her that it was her decision, but . . . I don't know, I guess I never really thought she'd really give the child up. She knows how much I want to be a father again. She knows that I lost my two children. I guess I expected that to factor in on her decision. Even if she wanted no part in raising it, I would have found a way to manage. It was my child too, and she didn't even have the decency to tell me before she had the termination."

Sam just listened as he let his feelings out, she didn't try to interrupt him or make some comment. She just listened as he went on to tell her everything, every detail of his life, his past. Pausing, Luka took a moment to look, really look at her face. He couldn't help but notice her dark brown eyes. They seemed older than she was, full of life experience. He could tell she had her own secrets, her own skeletons which she didn't like to talk about. Her eyes held all the sorrow and pain that she didn't let into the rest of her. She turned her head away slightly, as if she knew what he was thinking and didn't want him to see too deep into her.

"I'm sorry; I didn't mean to go on like that. I barely know you, and I shouldn't have expected you to have wanted to hear my life story."

"No, its okay," She replied, snapping her head back around to look at him. "In a way I know how you feel. A few years ago I had a miscarriage, so I know what it's like to lose a child before it's born." Her eyes filled up slightly.

Luka felt almost compelled to touch her, comfort her in some way and at the same time gain some comfort himself. He managed to put an arm around her, attempting to bring her in closer to him. She gazed up at him, surprised by his touch. He leaned in towards her, his face inches from hers. She didn't move, or say anything; and that encouraged him to go further. He didn't think about what he was doing, he didn't want to.

Moving closer still, he could feel her breath on his lips, it wouldn't take much more for their lips to be touching. His heart was racing, her warm breath on his lips was almost too much and her wide eyes gazing into his was driving him wild. He couldn't wait any longer. Licking his lips slightly he moved to close the gap between them.

Ray chose that moment to come crashing into the room, banging the door as he opened it. Sam jumped back out of Luka's reach, standing up. Luka was left cursing Ray, he had been so close. The fact that it would have been wrong never entered Luka's mind, Abby seemed to have been forgotten. Ray didn't stay in the room long, he just grabbed something from his locker and swept out of the room as quick as he'd come in.

"I should be going." Sam whispered.

"I'll walk out with you." He replied.

Luka couldn't figure out what she was thinking. She was doing her best to avoid his gaze. They walked out to the entrance in silence. Once outside, Luka stepped in front of her to stop her from going anywhere.

"About what happened just now . . . ." He began.

"Forget it; you were upset, we were both tired after a long shift. It wasn't your fault." She feigned a slight smile in an attempt to prove everything was okay.

"I really appreciate you listening to all my problems. If I can ever do anything?" He made it a question.

"Don't worry about it; we all need a shoulder to lean on every now and then."

Luka didn't get a chance to answer; something else had taken her attention. She quickly said goodbye and ran off. Luka turned around to see her kissing a man. It wasn't until she pulled back that he saw it was Carter. He stopped breathing for a second, realisation sinking. She was Carter's new girlfriend. The girl that had made Carter smile again, give him a reason to get up every morning. And he had almost kissed her.

Carter put his arm around her, and they started walking away. His whole attention was on her, and Luka was glad because it meant he didn't notice him staring. He was sure if Carter saw him; the guilt he felt would show on his face giving everything away. He barely saw Sam glance back at him, holding her gaze with his for a fleeting moment before turning her attention back to the man at her side, leaving Luka alone in the ambulance bay.


	3. Chapter 3

The strong aroma of coffee filled the room and helped clear Sam's head. It had been a long day; the hardest part had been in the doctor's lounge, just before she left. She had wanted to kiss him; she would have if that other doctor hadn't burst in on them. Part of her was ready to kill him because of it. Another part was glad he came when he did. She had a boyfriend; she couldn't just go around kissing other men.

Pouring herself a cup of coffee, she raised the cup up to her lips, inhaling the rich aroma. Closing her eyes she took a sip, letting the tension roll out of her as the warm liquid slid down her throat. Taking another sip, feeling completely at ease, his face appeared in her mind.

He looked just like he had when he'd been talking about his life, the lost, tortured soul that he had then appeared to be. The intensity in his eyes had been startling, frightening and wondrous all at once. She remembered the feeling of her heart beating faster and faster as he inched closer to her, his warm inviting breath as it gently brushed her lips.

In her mind she took the memory one step further as she imagined what kissing him would have been like. Tentatively their lips would have met a bare whisper against each other. Not satisfied with that he would move closer, his mouth pressing firmly against hers as he gently begged entrance to her mouth. She was like putty in his hands as he turned the kiss more passionate, her heart beating so fast she was sure it would burst.

The sudden touch of two strong muscular arms around her waist shook her out of her daydream. Taking a deep breath she did her best to push all thoughts of Luka from her mind and relaxed in her lovers arms. She was being foolish, fantasising about some guy she had just met when there was a great guy right there the whole time.

"You've been very quiet this evening, is everything alright?"

"It is now," she replied putting down her coffee and turning to face him.

"Are you sure?" Carter asked staring into her eyes. She had been way too quiet since she got off work, and he was worried that something was wrong.

"I'm just tired." Sam lied, she couldn't tell him what was really bothering her. Forcing a slight smile she added, "It was my first day in a new job after all."

"I'm glad to hear it. How did your first day go?"

"It went as well as can be expected, we do work in the ER, and it's not the easiest of jobs."

"True, did you get to meet Luka?"

Sam froze slightly at hearing his name. Only moments before she had been fantasising about him. Once again she forced herself to smile, this time it was to hide the guilt that she was feeling.

"Yes, he was there."

"And . . ?"

Sam's smile grew wider as she once again let herself think of the man she had almost kissed. Looking up, she saw Carter patiently waiting for an answer, and once again she was forced back to reality.

"And I didn't get a chance to talk to him or anything, he was too busy."

"I'll have to introduce you two properly, he's anxious to meet you."

Sam just nodded; she wasn't sure how she felt about being introduced to Luka, since they had been fairly close only hours before. But Carter didn't and couldn't know that.  
Carter watched her, there was definitely something going on with Sam. She was evasive, and kept avoiding his gaze. There was something she wasn't telling him.

"You know you can tell me anything right? I mean, I'm here for you if you need to talk or anything." He said running his hand gently up and down her arm reassuringly.

"Kind, caring, a doctor and rich. You're almost too good to be true, you know that?" Sam replied, moving closer to him and smiling, this time because she felt it.

"So I've been told." Carter replied with a twinkle in his eye as he wrapped his arms around her waist, gently brushing his fingertips against her flesh underneath her shirt.

"Did I mention that Alex has gone to bed?" She was beginning to realise what she knew all along. Right now, the only thing she needed was Carter; he was the only guy she was ever going to need. Why should she waste her time on a childish fantasy when she had the real deal right there in front of her?

"So it's just you and me then?"

"Yeah," Sam closed the slight gap between the two of them and wrapped her arms around his neck. She could smell his cologne; it seemed to be distinctly Carter. He bent down and crashed his lips against hers, kissing her passionately.

"I've been waiting all evening to kiss you." He remarked when they stopped to catch a breath.

"So you've gotten what you wanted then? I guess I can just leave." She pulled away from him and walked towards the door.

Carter watched her walk away, unsure what to do. Her movement had taken him completely off guard.

"Aren't you coming?" Sam asked, turning back to look at Carter before walking out the door.

Carter didn't answer, he just ran out the door after her.


	4. Chapter 4

Once again Sam found herself alone in the doctor's lounge with a certain handsome doctor. And it was only the beginning of her second day on her new job. So far she was loving it.

"Carter, anyone could walk in on us any minute." Sam said breathlessly as she pulled back from the kiss.

"Let them," was his only reply as he leaned in to kiss her again.

Sam managed to step back out of his reach just in time, she didn't really know anyone in the ER and she didn't want them to have a bad opinion of her. Unfortunately for Carter her common sense was coming through.

"Look, not that I'm really complaining, but what brought this on?" she asked, gesturing at the space between them.

"I missed you." he replied braving a step forward in the hopes of bridging the gap between them. "I know it probably sounds corny, but I've spent the whole morning thinking about you."

"You're right that does sound corny." She smiled. "But," she added reaching out to take his hand and entwining their fingers together. "I missed you too. Besides, you're kinda cute when you get all corny and embarrassed. Just so long as you never try serenading me, that's not cute at all."

"I won't," he reached out to push a strand of hair behind her ear. Looking at her he felt himself smile. Somehow, in the matter of a month, this woman had practically turned his life around, gave him a reason to get up in the morning. He was being corny, feeling like an awkward sixteen year old falling in love for the first time. And yet, he didn't care.

Sam watched Carter intently. She loved his smile, loved how he always smiled the minute he saw her. He was just happy to just be with her. It was a completely new situation for her, the other guys she had dated hadn't been the greatest. He almost made her believe in love again, a concept that she had given up on years previously. She was smiling more, even Alex had commented on it. And what could be bad about that? There was always going to be that voice, the voice from deep within her that told her that it was all too good to be true. That sometime soon it would all go to hell. Watching him smile, she didn't want to believe that at all.

"What are you thinking?" She asked.

"I had a great time last night." He answered wrapping his arms around her waist.

"Yeah, that movie we saw was really good. The acting was fantastic." She commented pushing as much innocence into her voice as was possible.

"That wasn't what I was talking about." Carter's voice dropped so he was just whispering the words, his face inches from hers.

"Well, that wasn't too bad either." She teased, moving backwards slightly until her back came in contact with the lockers, dragging Carter with her. She pulled his face down to hers, kissing him.

"I thought you worried about someone walking in on us?"

"Let them!" Sam said, she knew she couldn't resist him for long.

Carter didn't need any more persuasion than that. They ended up so caught up in the moment, and in each other, that they didn't hear the door open and close as someone came into the room. They jumped apart very quickly at the sound of someone loudly clearing their throat in an obvious attempt to alert the two of their presence.

"Luka!" Carter cried, "You nearly gave me a heart attack, I thought it was Kerry."

"Well, maybe if you were working instead of making out in the doctor's lounge you wouldn't be so worried about me being Kerry." Luka couldn't help sounding angry, he was being irrational and taking out his anger at the world on Carter. And all because he was dating a woman that he really liked. He forced a smile in an attempt to soften the blow.

"Hey, this coming from the guy who had a quickie in the closet with his patient's mother." Carter retorted laughing.

"Point taken," Luka nodded, he was relieved that Carter didn't catch the bitterness in his tone, the jealousy he felt at finding the two of them together. "So, are you going to introduce me?" As he asked, he braved a glance at the woman in question. She was breathing heavily, her cheeks were flushed. He had spent the whole night thinking of her, and in all that time he had managed to forget that she was taken.

"Luka, this is Sam," Carter said pulling her closer to him, "Sam this is Luka."

Reaching her hand out she shook hands with Luka, the hairs on her arms standing up at the slight touch of his hand. She had managed to forget about him, but seeing him brought it all back. Her gaze caught his, and for a brief moment it seemed that they were the only two in the room. He was sure he would have pulled her into his arms if he didn't see Carter out of the corner of his eye. Instead, he slowly let go of her hand, keeping his eyes locked with hers. He was sure he could see that she was feeling the same. But he couldn't be sure that he wasn't just imagining it.

"Carter's told me a lot about you." He said, saying it reminded him of just how much this woman meant to Carter. And he needed to keep thinking of that.

"All good things I hope." Sam answered smiling playfully at Carter. If she looked at him then it was easier to keep her mind off the Croatian beauty standing close by. She could feel his eyes on her still, and her heart thumped slightly faster knowing it.

"Of course, he's clearly crazy about you." Sam turned to look him when he said that, they're eyes locking once more. The sad reality of what could have been but couldn't passing between them.

"Well, can you blame me?" Carter questioned giving her waist a slight squeeze. He was completely unaware of the tension between the other two.

"No," Luka whispered so low that Carter didn't hear but Sam did. The intensity of his eyes on hers was too much. It was easy to focus solely on Carter when there was no one else. Having Luka there made her doubt everything, especially when she could plainly see that he was feeling the same.

Sam made her exit, saying she had to start working. The two men watched her leaving.

"So," Carter began, "What do you think?"

"She's . . ." Luka had been dreading that question, the last person he wanted to talk to about her was Carter. "She seems great, and she clearly likes you a lot. I'm happy for you."

"Thanks," Carter replied.

"I can see why you like her so much."

"Hey, don't go thinking that way Luka. We've been down that road before with Abby, remember?" Carter joked.

"Would I?" Luka joked back. He swallowed back his guilt. Sam was Carter's girlfriend, all he had to do was stay away from her. And she'd probably be spending most of her time with Carter so it shouldn't be too hard a task.


	5. Chapter 5

"What did you do that for?" Luka asked Sam as he pulled her into an isolated corner of the ER, the anger burning up inside him.

"What are you talking about?" Sam retorted snapping her arm out of Luka's grasp. All she knew was that one minute she was talking to a patient and the next he was dragging her off. She had no idea what had made him so angry.

"Telling that girl to have an abortion," Luka couldn't believe she had done that, told the girl all about it like it meant nothing, "You had no right to tell her that."

"I did not tell her that she should have an abortion; I just talked to her about her options. She's only sixteen, and she's scared."

"And what about the baby she's carrying? I guess it doesn't matter to you whether it lives or dies?" Luka yelled.

"I'm more concerned about my patient, the girl right now."

"You can't just go around throwing lives away so casually!" Part of him knew that this fight was not with Sam, he wasn't really angry with her. Instead, all of the anger he felt towards Abby and the abortion was coming out. Sam was just unfortunate to be caught in the cross fire.

"Don't you dare talk to me like that; I'm just doing my job." Sam was angry now too, she couldn't believe Luka. His anger seemed to have come out of nowhere.

"So killing innocent babies is in your job description now?" The words were out of his mouth before he had time to stop himself. The anger he felt was blinding his good judgement.

"You know that's not what I meant. Sometimes a girl can't cope with what's happening. Abortion might just seem the only way out for her." She knew that she had considered it when she was pregnant with Alex; she even went so far as going to the clinic. She just couldn't go through with it.

"Wellshe should have thought of that before she got herself pregnant." He spoke through gritted teeth.

"I guess it's her fault then? She's the only one to blame for the pregnancy, because she went out and did it all by herself right?" The argument was no longer about the patient, Sam was trying to defend herself and Luka was venting the anger he felt at Abby. And yet they couldn't seem to stop themselves.

"I didn't say that."

"The poor girl is scared Luka. Her boyfriend doesn't want to know, she's all alone and she doesn't know what to do. Do you have any idea what that feels like?" Sam herself knew to well what the girl was going through.

"It's still a life, a life which she will kill." Luka was too blinded by anger to see Sam's point of view, to see anyone else's point of view.

"And I'm not saying that it's okay, I'm just saying that I can understand how she feels."

Luka didn't answer; his fists were clenched at his sides. They had both yelled so much they were out of breath. Sam's eyes focused in on Luka's hands and then up to his eyes. The anger was burning in them. Her heart was pounding in her chest; she still didn't understand what had started the whole thing.

The anger and frustration kept building up inside Luka. Sam wasn't backing down on her argument, wasn't even attempting an apology. Through his hazed thinking he couldn't see that she had nothing to apologise for. It was too much for him. In the end he just pounded his fist against the wall and walked off down the corridor. Carter had come over just in time to see Luka storming off leaving a slightly shaken Sam behind.

"What was that all about?" He asked going over to her.

"I really have no idea."

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." Sam answered her attention on the space that Luka had left behind. That guy confused her more than any other man ever had. There was something about him, something that she couldn't put her finger on but something that had attracted her to him the day before. His recent outburst just might have been the thing to kill her attraction.

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Luka rubbed his hands against his thighs to dry them off before knocking on the door. He was nervous, very nervous. Earlier at the hospital he had over-reacted and should never have yelled at Sam like that. Carter had questioned him about it, he was concerned for her, wanted to know why Luka had taken his anger out on her. Luka explained the whole thing to him, and Carter explained that Sam had gotten pregnant at fifteen. It made Luka feel like a complete bastard. She was only concerned about the girl, and he had yelled at her unnecessarily.

"Luka? What are you doing here?" Sam asked when she opened the door, surprised to find the Croatian beauty standing on the other side.

"I . . . I came to apologise, I was out of line earlier." He replied nervously. "Can I come in?"

"Sure," Sam stepped back to allow him to pass through into the apartment, closing the door behind him. Taking a deep breath she turned around to face him. The last thing she had expected was to find him outside her door. After avoiding him all day, she didn't know what to say to him.

"These are for you," Luka went to hand her a small bunch of yellow roses, "They're a kind of peace offering, an attempt at a peace offering." His nerves were getting the best of him; he still found it hard to be around her knowing he couldn't have her. And since she was all dressed up, wearing tight jeans and a very low cut top, it really didn't make the situation better.

"You really didn't have to do that." Sam didn't move to talk the flowers from him; she just stood in front of him, staring at his broad chest. He had really surprised her by apologising, not many men who weren't sleeping with you would do that. He was beginning to look attractive again.

"I feel really bad about earlier. The argument wasn't with you; I want you to know that. I was angry with my girlfriend over the termination and I had no right to take it all out on you." He took a step towards Sam, the flowers held out towards her.

"Thank you," She smiled meekly and took the flowers. Feeling slightly uncomfortable standing so close to the man who seemed to have such a great effect on her, she moved away stepping towards the kitchen

Going to the cupboard she took out an old vase, filled it with water and placed the roses in it. Setting them down on the table she braved another look at him. He was standing, watching her, a smile on his face. He looked so totally different from how he had earlier; it was almost as if it was a different man. She was able to drag her thoughts back to the present moment enough to remember her manners. Telling him he could sit down, she watched him take off his coat and sit down on her couch. He looked slightly uncomfortable; like he wasn't sure he was really welcome. In a way, Sam found it endearing, he wasn't assuming that flowers were all it would take for her to forgive him. She offered him a drink, and when he said no, came over to join him by sitting on the chair opposite him.

Luka had been watching her the whole time, sure that she must have been able to feel his eyes burning into her. He just couldn't help himself. Sitting down he took in his surroundings. The place was small, not a lot to it, and the furnishings were modest. It wasn't the tidiest of places either, but he guessed that most of the mess was probably made by her son.

His gaze followed her as she sat down opposite him. They didn't say anything for a while, for which he was grateful. He wasn't sure he would be able to say much. His eyes kept drifting back to her exposed cleavage, he was hypnotised by the slight rise and fall of her chest with each breath she took. In his mind he imagined what it would be like kissing her neck, his hands caressing her breasts, her groaning in pleasure. It all seemed almost too much, his hands were shaking and his pulse had quickened. He could almost feel her soft skin against his; almost feel the beat of her pulse against his lips as they touched her neck. His senses went into overload when she leaned slightly towards him in her seat, giving him a full view.

"Thanks again for the roses," Sam said suddenly, more to distract herself and get her mind away from imagining ripping the shirt off him to reveal his broad chest, which she explored with her tongue. The whole situation was uncomfortable, he was Carter's best friend and she doubted he'd be too happy if he knew what she was thinking.

"I'm glad you like them." Luka raised his eyes to meet hers for a moment. He could only hope she hadn't seen where they had settled only a moment before. "You've got a nice place."

"It's not exactly a palace, but it's the best I could afford. I've tried to make it as homely as I could for Alex's sake." Bringing Alex into the conversation helped Sam quench the growing lust she had for the doctor sitting only three feet away.

"Alex is your son, right?" Luka was happy she brought that up, nothing to kill your libido like talking about children.

"Yeah, he's ten next month and a right demon at times. Fancies himself as becoming a doctor, they suspended him from his last school because he was dissecting a dead rat in the school yard. But, I suppose he could be a lot worse." She was in full mom mode now, talking about her son and the joys of motherhood. Her lust was diminishing with every word she uttered.

"Wow, I was a wild child but never that bad. It must be tough raising him on your own and all." He felt a lot more comfortable now, he was distracted enough to stop thinking of other things.

"I do the best I can, I just wonder sometimes if it's enough. Alex's dad isn't really around much." Sam's body tensed just thinking about the man who fathered her son.

"Does he play much of a part at all in Alex's life?"

"No, I think he thought his job was pretty much finished after knocking me up. He wasn't there for the birth either."

"I'm sorry, you deserve better. Someone who cares, who makes you happy." As the words left Luka's mouth he couldn't help but think that he could be that way, but in the same minute he realised that Carter was probably that guy. Carter loved her, would do anything for her, he could sense that. And who was he to even think about taking that away from her?

"Does Carter make you happy?"

"He does," Sam smiled thinking of the man she was dating. "I think we make each other happy, you know?"

"That's good, and I'd definitely say you make him happy. He's enchanted with you, and I can't say I'm surprised. I don't know how any guy could not be enthralled by you." Luka whispered the few words, resisting the strong urge he felt to touch her.

Sam felt herself move in closer to him, she didn't know if it was his accent or something else, but the words he uttered nearly took her breath away. She had never been taken so easily by a few words before. But this was different, it didn't feel like he was feeding her a line, and maybe that's what was attracting her closer to him.

She was so close, all it would take would be a quick movement and he'd be touching her. Moving his leg, his knee brushed against hers. They both raised their eyes to meet each others. Both caught in the moment, to them the rest of the world seemed far away. Sam was glad that Carter knocked on her door at that very moment; she couldn't be sure what she would have done if he hadn't. She was sure she would have ended up regretting it though.

Sam let Carter in, and the three talked for a few minutes before Luka excused himself to let them get on with the evening they had planned. With Alex at a sleepover, they were grabbing the time to spend it together. Carter went to the bathroom and Sam walked Luka to the door. He stopped outside, turning to face Sam.

"I'll see you tomorrow. And once again, sorry about this morning." He was relieved that Carter came when he did, he would have ended up doing something that would have ruined the friendship he had with the man otherwise.

"I forgive you; just don't think I'll let you do it all the time."

"I wouldn't dream of it."

"I really hope we can be friends." Sam smiled.

"Yeah," Luka nodded, "friends."

The two hugged goodbye, both holding onto the other for the brief moment that the rules allowed. The small amount of contact was the most that they could have, and they both held on for as long as was possible before going back to their real lives.


	6. Chapter 6

The silence between them made it feel like they were miles apart. Standing in the ambulance bay, neither one really felt the cold air wrapping itself around them. It was the first day Abby had seen Luka since the abortion, and that had been a week ago. Now, they seemed more like strangers than lovers. All the pleasantries were over and done with, each had asked the other how they were, how they're week had been. There was nothing left to say in that sense, and so it seemed that they couldn't talk about anything else.

Abby dug her hands deeper into her pockets, wishing she was somewhere, anywhere, else. She didn't need to feel him judging her, that's why she had stayed away, kept her distance. She felt the guilt herself, how could she not? As a doctor she was supposed to preserve life, not destroy it. But, she knew deep down, that having the baby would have been a mistake. As much as she loved Luka, she wouldn't have been able to go through with the pregnancy just for his sake. And that's what she would have been doing.

He hadn't tried to contact her either, she was painfully aware of that. Much as she didn't want to be near him after the termination, she wished he had at least tried. Braving a quick glance into his eyes, Abby could clearly see the anger he was refusing to share with her. She glanced back down at the ground, feeling his gaze burn into her. What right had he to be so judgmental? She had agonised over the decision. It wasn't something she had done on the spur of the moment. She couldn't be a mother, she just couldn't. Why was it so hard for him to see that?

The screeching of an ambulance pulling in pushed the two into action. They were doctors now, had patients lives to look after. And in the midst of doing their jobs, they could forget everything else. Each pushed themselves into their doctor roles and left their alter egos aside.

Luka walked into the doctor's lounge, one hand rubbing his forehead. His head felt like it was going to explode, the pain was so intense. The mixture of a busy day in the ER and trying to ignore Abby at every turn had taken it's toll on the Croatian doctor. Even Sam had been off limits, she was constantly running from one patient to another, there was no time for the two to say hi, let alone finish a sentence. He missed that, if anyone could make today better, it was her.

"Long day?"

Luka looked up to see a young boy staring back at him, waiting for an answer. Luka had never seen the boy before, didn't know what he was doing in the doctor's lounge, if he should even have been there. But trying to find the answer to all those questions sounded like too much work to him right then.

"You could say that." Luka answered carefully.

"I know how you feel, my mom is really on my case today. She ordered me not to leave this room, and I'm bored!"

Luka settled himself down on the sofa beside the young boy, slightly intrigued by him.

"You're a doctor right?" He asked before Luka had the chance to reply.

"I sure hope so, otherwise I really shouldn't be doing the work I'm doing."

"Can you take me down to the morgue?"

"I don't think I should. Would your mom be okay with that?"

"Who cares? It's not like I could kill someone by going down there."

"Don't you have school work to be doing?" Luka hoped that it would take the kid's focus away from dead people and going to see them.

"You sound like my mom," He answered rolling his eyes, "I've been doing my work for the past hour, I'm bored."

"Maybe I could convince your mom to let me take you to Ike's for a bite to eat, would that help?" Maybe it was the puppy dog look the kid was giving him, or that he felt sorry for the kid, or maybe he liked the fact that the kid was a distraction. Whatever it was, Luka was willing to try to talk to the kid's mother, how bad could she be?

"I doubt she'll let you, she can be a real pain in the ass."

"ALEX!" Sam screamed walking over to her son, "What did you just say?"

"Nothing," Alex mumbled.

"I heard you Alex. Don't you ever talk like that again."

"But it's not fair, I don't want to be stuck in here."

"Well you won't be stuck in here much longer, Carter's coming in to collect you."

"I don't want to go with Carter, he tries to hard to be like my dad or something. Couldn't I go to Ike's with this guy instead?" Alex pointed at Luka.

Sam turned her gaze to the man seated beside her son. She hadn't noticed him a moment ago, she'd been too wrapped up in Alex. He smiled at her almost apologetically and she could feel the heat rise in her cheeks as the embarrassment sank in. Of all the people who had to witness the scene between mother and son, why did it have to be him?

"His name is Dr Kovac, and you can't do that. Carter is already on his way, it's too late for him to turn back."

"Fine, whatever." Alex turned his face away from Sam and folding his arms tight across his chest.

Sam just shook her head slightly and walked out of the room, there was no point trying to argue with him, he wouldn't listen. She tried desperately to remember if she had been like that with her parents, had she given them that much grief? She doubted she would have had the guts to do something like that, not with her parents. When she had to tell them she was pregnant, she was terrified.

Feeling a small touch on her shoulder, she turned around to find that Luka had followed her out of the room. Her heart skipped knowing that his hand was on her shoulder. Just the slightest touch sent slight shivers down her spine. She thought that she could easily do the whole just friends thing, thought that she had her feelings all sorted out. It wasn't true though, she may be able to have convinced herself when he wasn't around, but just being near him sent all her sensible thinking out the window. She had even lied to Carter about the flowers, said that she bought them herself. He wouldn't have said anything if he had known the truth, it was a nice thing for Luka to do, a nice way to apologise. By lying, she was making a bigger deal out of it, and it made it even more clear to her that when it came to her and Luka, it was a big deal. One that was going to all end in tears if they weren't careful.

"Are you okay?" Luka asked gently keeping his hand on her small shoulder. Any excuse to touch her. He had it big, he knew that. But he didn't care, not when she was around him. Even though every time he was around her he needed a cold shower afterwards! This time was different, he was genuinely concerned about her. It just made it startlingly clear that it was more than just a physical attraction between them.

"Yeah," Sam answered quietly, "I'm kinda used to the arguments by now. He's just mad at me because I grounded him for two weeks. The school suspended him today for getting in a fight, he punched his classmate in the face." She took a deep breath and leaned back against the wall, her eyes focusing on the ground. "Do you think I screwed up? Am I such a bad mother?"

"No, every parent feels like that at some stage. Alex is normal, I was always in fights when I was his age, most boys are like that, we see them in here everyday." Luka sighed, he rubbed his hand up and down her arm reassuringly. He could empathise with her, being a parent was tough sometimes. "Sam, look at me," He raised her head up so he could get eye contact. "You're not a bad mother, you've done really well. You've raised him on your own since you were 15, you've done a great job."

"Thanks," Sam smiled.

"Anytime you need to talk about this, just say okay?"

"Thanks."

She reached up and putting her arms around him, gave him a hug. She didn't care if he didn't want it, she just needed it right then. When he hugged back, she settled herself in his strong arms. Since they had never openly spoken about the first time they met, she had no idea if he still thought about the near kiss. Was she just crazy for hanging onto something that didn't even happen? Or did he feel the same? And considering she was in a very happy relationship, why did it matter? She had made herself promise not to think of Luka in that way anymore, but standing in his arms didn't make keeping the promise easy. Especially when if felt like she belonged there.

Luka wrapped his arms around her slight form, returning the hug. He couldn't shake the feeling that this is where she belonged, where he belonged. Who was she? This woman who managed to turn his life around, who managed to help him cope with the loss of another child in a healthy way. And all this she did by just being there, by just being herself. It all seemed too much, if he was to tell that to anyone else he was sure they'd think him crazy. After all, there was nothing between them except friendship, she had made that clear. He was hanging on to some far fetched hope that she felt the same.

Abby stopped at the sight of the young attractive new nurse she had seen Luka hugging a few hours before. He was attracted to her, Abby could tell. While she had been at home the past week wondering if he would ever call, he had been moving on, hooking up with that hussy. It was no wonder it couldn't find the words to speak to her when they had met before work. He was sleeping with the blonde bimbo, she was sure of it. The hug had looked way too friendly, way too intimate. And now there she was, standing out on the street with Luka, the two casually talking without a care in the world, or so it seemed. Abby walked over and kissed Luka in lieu of a spoken greeting. She wanted the blonde to know that Luka was taken, even if things were going towards breaking point between them, they hadn't parted ways just yet. And Abby was going to make sure the other woman knew that.

"Hi, I'm Dr Lockhart," Abby said to Sam after she pulled back from the kiss, forcing a friendly smile on her face. She put her arm around very confused Luka. "I saw you around the ER today, you new?"

"Yeah, I'm Sam, I just started last week." Sam replied. She didn't know where to look, the whole situation was so awkward. She guessed that this woman was Luka's girlfriend. Jealousy sparked inside her, even though she knew she had no right to feel that way. Her and Carter had flaunted their relationship in front of Luka plenty of times, he had every right to kiss his girlfriend in front of her. Braving a glance at Luka, she wasn't sure what she saw written in his eyes. Was it annoyance? Confusion? Sorrow? Or did she just imagine it all? She didn't know what to believe with him, for all she knew she just saw those things because she wanted to, not because they were true.

Looking at Sam, Luka thought he saw a spark of envy in her. She turned her head away too fast for him to be sure. He wasn't going to let his heart get too excited about something he might have seen, it was bad enough he was still so effected by a kiss that might have happened had someone not interrupted them. All the same, he wished she hadn't been there to see Abby. He couldn't be sure exactly why, but he never wanted the two to meet. Maybe it was his guilt, for not really being there to support Abby, and for letting his mind wander onto new prospects before the old relationship was even over.

Abby chatted away with Sam, ignoring Luka for the most part, but keeping her arm firmly around her. She wanted to hang on to him, and she couldn't shake the feeling that he was already gone. One thing was for sure, she didn't have to look at him to know where his eyes fell. His gaze was on Sam, as it had been all day and had probably been the whole time she was off work.

A car pulled up beside them, with Carter in the drivers seat and Alex sitting in the back. Sam said goodbye to the other two and got into the car, giving Carter a quick kiss before they drove off.

"Is Carter dating her?" Abby asked, she was shocked, it was the last thing she had expected really.

"Yeah, they've been dating for well over a month now." Luka said with the great success of managing to hide all the disappointment he felt about it.

"I . . . thought that you two . . ."

"Me and Sam?" Luka choked, "Nah, we're just friends. Carter and Sam are very happy together."

_But you like her_, Abby thought to herself sadly.

Sam opened the door to her room, surprised to find Carter there, waiting for her with rose petals strewn across the bed. She closes the door behind her, leaning against it for a moment to take in the view. She had stayed back late in the ER to cover for Chuny, and Carter had offered to keep an eye on Alex for her. By the time she had gotten home, ten minutes ago, it was so late, she had expected Carter to be asleep already. Not that she was complaining, nothing was more welcoming right then. Slowly walking over to the bed, she sat down beside him.

"Hey," she said quietly, "I thought you'd be well asleep by now."

"Well, I just thought you could do with some cheering up. I know things between you and Alex have been frosty the past three days, and you seemed really stressed earlier. So I waited up for you." Carter replied pulling Sam close to him for a quick hello kiss.

"You did all this just because I looked stressed?" Surprise was written all over her face. It was most definitely a reminder of why she could feel herself falling in love with Carter so quickly.

"Yes," He smiled, "Is that so hard to believe?"

Sam didn't answer, she just smiled. The big brilliant smile that could brighten up a whole room, Carter was sure of it. Her eyes were twinkling with excitement, and he couldn't help but be drawn in by them, as he always was. And he loved knowing that he was the one who made her smile, who made her eyes light up.

"Plus, I thought it'd be romantic."

"It is romantic," Sam whispered moving in closer and kissing him gently. "Thanks"

Carter didn't bother answering, he just kissed her again, this time more passionately.

Abby looked at the man asleep beside her. She had slept with Luka, sure they had done it before, but this was the first time they had since everything with the baby and all. Luka had seemed pissed off earlier, he'd had a bad day at work and had come home to start drinking beer. Not really the model example of when to have sex with a man, Abby knew that. But she was so desperate to feel close to him again, that when she arrived at his place, and he started coming on to her, she just ignored the slight whiff of beer off his breath and went with it. It was wrong, she knew that know. She shouldn't have done it, she should have walked away, saved herself all the pain she was now feeling.

In her defence, she didn't know what would happen. How was she to know that when the crucial moment came, he'd shout out another woman's name. Sam. Every since Abby had gone back to work the woman seemed to be everywhere. Luka was obsessed, thought the world of this fantastic nurse. Had even gone as far as looking after her son for an hour the day before, when Sam had been really stuck. He was supposed to meeting up with her, and when she arrived at his apartment to find Alex there also. . . . well it should have been a warning. Instead, Abby had tried forgetting it, putting it off as just Luka being his usual nice, helpful self. She didn't want to believe that he had feelings for this other woman.

Now there was no denying it, it was right there in front of her, slapping her in the face at full speed. Why else would he have screamed her name? Abby was embarrassed, too embarrassed to move, even though she most definitely didn't want to be there when he woke up. She wasn't sure she could ever look him in the eyes again. He screamed her name as they were making love. It hurt, the tears were threatening to fall and Abby couldn't keep denying them. She had every right to cry, didn't she? She had every right to be jealous. Sam was dating Carter, so she knew that Luka wasn't having a physical affair with her, but emotional, he was with Sam more than he was with her.

Getting up slowly so as not to wake Luka; Abby got out of the bed. She quickly found her clothes, proceeding to put them on. She wasn't going to stick around and make an even bigger fool of herself. He didn't love her anymore. Hell, she wasn't even sure he loved her at all really. This whole thing had started because they had accidentally slept together. And they decided to continue to do so just to see what happened, to see where things went. The last time they dated, it hadn't worked out. And Abby guessed that it wasn't going to work out this time either.


	7. Chapter 7

Sam opened the door to her room, surprised to find Carter there, waiting for her with rose petals strewn across the bed. She closes the door behind her, leaning against it for a moment to take in the view. She had stayed back late in the ER to cover for Chuny, and Carter had offered to keep an eye on Alex for her. By the time she had gotten home, ten minutes ago, it was so late; she had expected Carter to be asleep already. Not that she was complaining, nothing was more welcoming right then. Slowly walking over to the bed, she sat down beside him.

"Hey," she said quietly, "I thought you'd be well asleep by now."

"Well, I just thought you could do with some cheering up. I know things between you and Alex have been frosty the past three days, and you seemed really stressed earlier. So I waited up for you." Carter replied pulling Sam close to him for a quick hello kiss.

"You did all this just because I looked stressed?" Surprise was written all over her face. It was most definitely a reminder of why she could feel herself falling in love with Carter so quickly.

"Yes," He smiled, "Is that so hard to believe?"

Sam didn't answer, she just smiled. The big brilliant smile that could brighten up a whole room, Carter was sure of it. Her eyes were twinkling with excitement, and he couldn't help but be drawn in by them, as he always was. And he loved knowing that he was the one who made her smile, who made her eyes light up.

"Plus, I thought it'd be romantic."

"It is romantic," Sam whispered moving in closer and kissing him gently.

Carter didn't bother answering, he just kissed her again, this time more passionately. Pulling her as close to him as possible, he wrapped his arms around her.

"No guy has ever been as nice as you've been," she said suddenly when they stopped kissing for a moment in order to catch their breath.

"Really?" Carter replied, he couldn't believe that no guy had ever been nice to her. "Not even Steve?"

Sam winced slightly at the name of her ex-boyfriend who happened to also be the father of her son. Boy did she regret ever sleeping with him. The only good thing he ever did was give her Alex, it was the only reason she could just about tolerate him.

"His idea of doing something nice for me, was not being high while we had sex. And even at that, he didn't do it too often."

"And you dumped him because?" Carter didn't know everything that happened between Sam and Steve, he didn't ask and she didn't tell. He knew she'd tell him when she was ready. But whatever happened, it wasn't pretty. For now he had to cope with the little bits of information that she threw at him.

Sam didn't answer, she never knew how much information to divulge when it came to Steve. How much was too much to tell a guy you've just been seeing for just over a month?

Somehow, Luka popped into her mind. She could easily imagine herself telling him everything. He'd know just what to say to make her feel better. He'd hold her in his arms, and then they'd make love. . . . Sam had to stop herself there. For all she knew he was with Abby right now. Why did he seem to affect her so? No man had ever taken over her mind so completely. And he had to come in just when she was happy with her life. She had a good boyfriend, one who respected her. And Alex seemed really happy. Why did Luka have to come along and screw everything up? Not that it was his fault really, she was the one screwing it up, she was the one being unfaithful in her mind and wanting what she couldn't have.

Then there was Carter, he was right there in front of her, waiting for her to make the next move. She loved him, more than she ever thought possible. After spending so many years promising herself to never get to close to another guy, he managed to force his way into her life. And she was happy about it. She was happy. All she needed to do was ignore the chemistry she felt when she was around Luka. Now, with Carter here with her, alone with her, would be the best time to start. She'd show him just how much he meant to her.

Pushing him back onto the bed, Sam started kissing him, her hands working on unbuttoning his shirt. Once it was open, she began to kiss and nibble her way down his chest, leaving no inch of his skin untouched by her lips. She moved back up and her lips found the pulse on his neck, hearing him groan as she moved her lips over it.

She smiled at him, her hand running down his body until it came in contact with his belt buckle, which she undid in one quick movement and she unzipped him slowly, maintaining eye contact with him. Her hand slipped under the waist of his boxers, and Carter gripped the sheets tightly as she teased him, his breathing coming hard.

"Oh God Sam, I love you!"

"What!" Sam yelled, sitting up straight and staring at him. She was so shocked, she didn't even know what to say, or how to react.

Carter sat up, and their faces were nearly touching. Taking her cheek in his hand, he kissed her gently.

"I said I love you, I know it might seem out of the blue but I've known for a while, I'm in love with you."

"I don't know what to say." Sam whispered.

"Then don't say anything."

This time Carter flipped Sam onto her back and kissed her passionately, she wrapped her arms around him, pulling him closer.

"I love you too," she whispered in his ear.

Carter didn't answer, he just smiled and went on to show her just how much he loved being with her.

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Later that night, they lay wrapped up in bed together, both out of breath from their recent exploits in the bedroom. Carter couldn't help but watch her, just take in every inch of her. She was beautiful, she really was. And she loved him. He had to admit, he had been worried. She seemed so distant ever since she started working in the ER. But now he knew, that's all that mattered.

Her breathing was gently, her chest rising and falling ever so slightly with every breath she took. He doubted he'd ever get tired of just watching her. Everything she did, she did it so perfectly. Or so it seemed to him. He loved her smile, it was the biggest, brightest smile around. And when she laughed, or when she was about to kiss him, she had this twinkle in her eyes. So mischievous, he loved it. In short, he loved her.

Kissing her gently on her forehead, he lay his head down to sleep. Her arm was stretched across his waist and he pulled her in closer to him before closing his eyes.

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Abby looked at the man asleep beside her. She had slept with Luka, sure they had done it before, but this was the first time they had since everything with the baby and all. Luka had seemed pissed off earlier, he'd had a bad day at work and had come home to start drinking beer. Not really the model example of when to have sex with a man, Abby knew that. But she was so desperate to feel close to him again, that when she arrived at his place, and he started coming on to her, she just ignored the slight whiff of beer off his breath and went with it. It was wrong, she knew that know. She shouldn't have done it, she should have walked away, saved herself all the pain she was now feeling.

In her defence, she didn't know what would happen. How was she to know that when the crucial moment came, he'd shout out another woman's name. Sam. Every since Abby had gone back to work the woman seemed to be everywhere. Luka was obsessed, thought the world of this fantastic nurse. Had even gone as far as looking after her son for an hour the day before, when Sam had been really stuck. He was supposed to meeting up with her, and when she arrived at his apartment to find Alex there also. . . . well it should have been a warning. Instead, Abby had tried forgetting it, putting it off as just Luka being his usual nice, helpful self. She didn't want to believe that he had feelings for this other woman.

Now there was no denying it, it was right there in front of her, slapping her in the face at full speed. Why else would he have screamed her name? Abby was embarrassed, too embarrassed to move, even though she most definitely didn't want to be there when he woke up. She wasn't sure she could ever look him in the eyes again. He screamed her name as they were making love. It hurt, the tears were threatening to fall and Abby couldn't keep denying them. She had every right to cry, didn't she? She had every right to be jealous. Sam was dating Carter, so she knew that Luka wasn't having a physical affair with her, but emotional, he was with Sam more than he was with her.

Getting up slowly so as not to wake Luka; Abby got out of the bed. She quickly found her clothes, proceeding to put them on. She wasn't going to stick around and make an even bigger fool of herself. He didn't love her anymore. Hell, she wasn't even sure he loved her at all really. This whole thing had started because they had accidentally slept together. And they decided to continue to do so just to see what happened, to see where things went. The last time they dated, it hadn't worked out. And Abby guessed that it wasn't going to work out this time either.

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Luka woke up later that night to find himself alone in his bed. Part of him, a huge part of him if he was honest, was relieved to find the bed empty. He couldn't face Abby right then. He wasn't sure things were going to work out between them, and he wasn't sure that he cared. He didn't love her anymore. It was sad, but it was a fact. And he hated that he was going to have to tell her. Especially after what they'd gone through recently.

He's been dreaming of Sam again, as he seemed to do way too often. The dreams were happening ever night now, and they were always the same. She's turn up at his door crying. He'd invite her in, and she'd say that her and Carter had broken up. When he asked why, she'd answer that it was because she was falling in love with him. He'd wipe her tears away and kiss her, softly first, and then more passionate when she reciprocated. He would admit that he loved her too, and carry her off to his bedroom where they would make love.

The dreams made it near impossibly to be around her anymore without the urge to reach out and touch her being too strong. He could imagine what it would be like to have her in his arms, to have her in his bed. And the more he thought about it the crazier he found himself becoming.

Sam had been on his mind the whole time he was with Abby. It wasn't Abby he was making love to, it was Sam. He was sure Abby would never know, but it wasn't fair to her. No matter how angry he might be with her over the abortion, she didn't deserve that. He'd have to tell her. It was one conversation he was not looking forward to.


End file.
